A Warm Welcome to Juliet Nnamdi-Uzoezie's Blog

2008-11-11T15:54:00.000-08:00

Wow! the US elections have come and gone, now it's time to move on. But I must say twas quite a remarkable election considering all the drama, attack ads and stump speeches. I learnt quite a few 'americanese' along the way- you know, 'battleground states, bellwether states, blue states, red states, Alaskan Moose, 'you betcha!' and a whole range of 'weird statistics!

Man, America is truly the greatest country on earth, (If it ever crosses my mind to have a 3rd child, i'll definitely have him/her in America! just kidding...)

As excited as I was that Obama won, I was a bit surprised at the depth of the race issue in America, I didnt really realise America isnt that a colour-blind society. No wonder blacks voted overwhelmingly for Obama - 96%!

Ok, now that Obama has won, no black man should ever use the colour of his skin as an excuse for underachievment, seriously, and all this issue about 'affirmative action' is nonsense. Obama's success wouldnt have been so phenomenal if it had been tempered with affirmative action. In naija, it's called 'quota system'. You dont 'mechanically' qualify people for positions or privileges, they have to earn it, black, white, rich, poor, north, south, east or west. You dont raise the bar for some and lower it for others, that's the 'ultimate bridge to nowhere' if i could borrow Joe Biden's expression!

On a more serious note, Obama's victory set me thinking ( not racially like most Americans) that I must be prepared to go through the school of 'hard knocks' without tearing down my opponents or judging those who dont share my world view. That I must be focused and still be gracious in the face of adversity or uncertainty. I'm truly inspired by the way he ran his campaign, cuz I believe he just raised the bar higher for whoever will step into his shoes when his season is over.

I do hope Sarah Palin has learnt the hard lesson of what goes round, comes round? She attacked Obama so viciously, I was beginning to wonder why she left her faith behind or whether she was born again at all! It was a great opportunity for her to 'show' John McCain the example of how to run a godly campaign, yet she funked it so bad. The Obama she was attacking ran a more gracious campaign, remember when Palin's daughter's pregnancy became public knowledge, Obama never used it to judge her, he simply said 'people's families should be off limits'.

Now it seems the tables have turned and she has become the butt of silly jokes like her not knowing Africa is a continent and not a country! etc and she's not finding it funny at all!

Ok back to my schl of thots, now that Obama has won, it's saddening to see how much idolatry people can display, the way things are going, Obama is almost being revered as the messiah and Moses combined! Thank you Tony Blair for asking people to stop putting the young president-elect under enormous pressure, the expectations are just too high!

I quite understand the transformational victory but all this 'Obama-worship' is scary-scary stuff! Kenya went as far as declaring public holiday in his honor! haba! That's taking it too far, and I thot to myself that it's the beggarly mentality at work. We in Africa always look to the west for economic prosperity and not in our God-given potentials and resources. If we are truly inspired by the Obama-Biden victory as we claim, we should look inwards, not west-ward and create our own awe-inspiring success story as well.

For as long as we 'patronise' others for favours, we will forever be subservient to them. Let Obama be Obama and as for the rest of us, let's take a cue from his victory to look inwards and search out the meaning of our lives so we can leave a positive impact in our little corner.

I leave you with a text message sent me a couple of days ago by my mentor Julia Oku-Jacks:

''The audacity of hope. The energy of dreams. The potency of patience.

The clear sightedness of vision. Powered by unwaivering faith in God and

the force of an idea, a belief, a directive whose time had finally and undeniably come.

Obama has done it for himself and for America.

He's also revealed just how puny and frail our excuses for failture and stagnation are.

It wont be easy or immediate. but if you believe it then you can do it.

YES YOU CAN...you in your own corner and I in mine. Let's go change our world.

Goodluck,

Julia.''

2008-09-27T04:54:00.000-07:00

Confessions...

Ok, i admit i end up sharing my thots on other issues rather than cakes! truth is blogging is an impulsive thing for me; i get these 'insightful' ideas and i quickly rush down to my laptop to 'pen down' my 'brain surge', so pls go with the flow.Like i said in one of my earlier posts, im not a very formal person, so if my thots dont conform to a sequence of events, just know it's life's drama at work.

By the way, im tempted to write about my avid interest in the American politics and my die-hard support for Obama (unfortunately, he is black, so i have a hard time explaining to people im rooting for him, not becos of the colour of his skin, but) for the mere fact that his story is an 'improbable' one- the perfect example of the American dream- the story-book -like tale of A kenyan-American! (Pls watch him deliver his keynote address at the 2004 DNC on Utube).

I dont knw why people 'hacked' Bill Clinton for the use of the word 'fairytale' while describing Obama's policies on the campaign trail. I 100% agree with Bill, Obama's ideologies are truly a fairlytale. Who doesnt wish for a fairytale!, so as an 'Obamamama' i say 'bring it on!'

As for Sarah Palin, it's a pity my evangelical brethren are carried away with this prolife-prochoice debacle. it's intriguing to say most evangelicals vote the same way- whoever Pat Robertson or James Dobson vetos. Inasmuchas Im an avid viewer of the 700 Club and have read insightful and powerful books by Dr Dobson, I cant be 'subliminally influenced'!

Personally, i feel abortion is a moral issue so it should be up to individuals to keep their accounts with God. I also think it's logical to legalise abortion, so more people can come forward and with good counselling, many unintended pregnancies can be saved with good adoption options.

I must reiterate that i believe human rights begin at conception, however, life isnt cut and dry, in d case of incest and rape, 'omo', the prerogative is mine o not the unborn child's!

Anyways, like they say this prayer in yoruba 'mi o ni r'aburu o!' - i see no evil!So sister Sarah, i dont agree with ur extreme 'pro-lifeness'. I'll try and cull an article i read on the TIME mag website by Jane Smiley, about the pro 'yadi-yadi-yada' . It's a masterpiece...maybe in my nxt post (hopefully!).

p.s if u wish to send a comment, then go to info@cakeflair.net.

9/26/08
by Juliet Nnamdi-Uzoezie
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2008-03-25T17:02:00.000-07:00

Envy: A Heavy Burden To Bear
I cant help but share a perspective to Ben Okri’s masterpiece; Starbook, even though he was talking about a love story, it also in my point of view aptly describes a common human disease – envy. When you have become ‘a spotlight’ in your family and your people don’t know why they cant ‘handle’ your ‘successes’ but instead become cynical by putting you under their microscope of judgemental scrutiny, you feel robbed of your space, misunderstood and ultimately find yourself drifting away from them because you are not celebrated.
Such imprudence I find intriguing! To think that these are the same people who when you were all small fries at the back side of life, joined hands with you in prayers and wishful thoughts of better and beautiful things to come. Instead, they have now become self-appointed critics of your every move and actions simply because they cant handle any semblance of success or edge that they perceive you have over them.
They go the entire length and breadth of bitter diatribes about you, leaving behind their own baggages of dysfunction.
Of all the disorders of the soul, envy is the only one no one confesses to- Plutarch, c. A.D 46-120.
If you are often talked about in a critical way, not so acknowledged in your kind gestures, mostly ‘attacked’ in perceived rebellion, take heart, accept it graciously and take none of it personally.
We fail to realise that in sharing in other people’s joys of success, we set the stage ready for our own upliftment. If your heart misses a beat at the news of a close relation’s or compatriot’s achievements, them know that you have the seeds of envy studded on the inside of you, hence, expel it outward as inspiration that would propel you to be at your best in your own endeavours.
May I present this excerpt from Ben Okri’s StarBook- A Magical Tale of love and Regeneration:

"…No one thought to leave him alone so that he could come round in his own way.
They fretted over him and trouble him with their fears and projections. They made him the concern and the problem and the focus of the kingdom.
They interfered with every aspect of his life. They gave him no space to grow into his own man. They robbed him of space and time.
They spied on him everywhere he went. They reported his every move. They misunderstood his every gesture and utterance. They magnified his silence.
They distorted his stillness. They suspected his prayers. They saw sinister aspects to his complete innocence.
And so, unwittingly, they drove him further and further away from the kingdom…"

If you are an exceptional person with excellent achievements, look out! because you’ve just made yourself a target of envy!

2008-03-18T11:12:00.000-07:00

Weddings and Parents

My friend ‘Layemi was complaining the other day about how her parents have completely taken over arrangements for her wedding. “ I practically have no say in any issue without them retorting ‘bayi la se n se e!’ ’’ (meaning, this is how things are done!), she complained.
She said she angrily stated ‘bayi, l’emi fe se e! (meaning, this is how I wish to do my own thing!).
I laughed at her dilemma, but with alarmed recognition of course, because I know the uphill task she’s got herself involved in.
When I asked her what her fiancé‘s (Dayo) views are in all of this, her face lit up as she said, “He’s playing it ‘mellow’ with his own folks and trying not to get them too involved in every details except when it’s absolutely important or when they ‘push’ him for ‘info’ . The only issue he noted that he had with his mum was the style of wedding dress his bride-to-be should wear!
His mum said she wont feel comfortable if ‘Layemi should wear a sleeveless wedding dress not to talk of a ‘spaghetti’!
And Dayo calmly responded “ don’t worry, it’s neither of those, because we’ve already picked her wedding dress which I love to pieces! and it’s a strapless wedding gown, so get used to this one cuz it’s what I’d love to see my wife-to-be wear on our wedding day!’’.
Of course the mum wasn’t happy about it, but he didn’t encourage her opinion by not talking about it any further and urging her to engage in ‘more productive’ issues like getting word out to all other family members concerned…
… anyway, I don’t share the view that parents should be left out of our wedding preparations, if at all anything, we need their ‘wisdom’ and ‘solidarity’ to enjoy the celebrations. However, many parents, especially those in our parent’s generation have this notion that their children are an extension of their own lives. A notion I strongly disagree with. They have forgotten that once upon a time, ‘these children’ were in deed children, but now they have grown and ready to explore the world ‘their own way’ and all they need now are cheerleaders and a fan-club to face the games of life and not a parental shield of control and judgmental manipulations.
Parents let your children make ‘their own’ mistakes, the irony of it all is that they wont make too many because wired in every individual is his/herr own blueprint for survival and whether we like it or not, it’s not going to be the same formula as their parent’s. Parents should begin to wean themselves off their children gradually as soon as they start becoming young adults. So that when ‘that’ time comes, you’ll be ready for their ‘bombshells’
On a more reassuring note, every parent who spends time bringing up their children well with sound values and proven results in their own lives, need not worry about how their children would turn out. They should be confident of the kinds of kids they’ve been able to raise and this in turn with bolster their children’s confidence in themselves and earn their parents’ trust ‘cuz they’ve got their backs, shikena?

2008-01-15T13:21:00.000-08:00

Welcome to 2008
it's been lightyears since my last postings, i hope to be more upbeat this time around ( not a resolution, but a goal)
I'd like to share a thought i adopted for beginning this new year.
"Our lives are not made up by the dreams we dream but by the choices we make. Therefore this year I will make good choices about my business as well as my personal life. Choices that have been prayed about, thought about, and well planned."
what about you?
Make this year count, not necessary with big projects if you cant reach for those but with yourself firstly, making sure you spend some time writing out issues important to you and ways in which you feel you can find lasting solutions and fulfilment from them.
The little details you take time to finetune will ultimately be the bedrock of any major achievements you might eventually attain.
anyway, this is my own strategy for living for this new year and i hope to list out my goals for each month (jan-dec) and come back here at the end of 366 days to share with you how far ive gone with my missions.

Lastly, i hope to share pics of my cake designs with each of my postings as much as possible, just in case you are outside Nigeria and looking for magnificent centre-piece cakes to grace your ocassions.

Have a wonderful 2008 in which you understand what works for you, and in which you find the courage to live out your dreams without the fear of public opinion
Shalom

'Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us, to Him be glory and honour and power for ever in our lives, (Amen) for He has faithfully kept us under the shadow of His wings throughout 2007; 2008 will be no exception.

want sensational cakes? visit http://www.cakeflair.net/

2006-10-14T16:06:00.000-07:00

North Korea: World War III in the making?
On the 15th of July, 2006, the UN came up with the 'Resolution 1695' in which it condemns North korea's nuclear weapons program; It called for a diplomatic resolution to the issue which if left unchecked could lead to world instability.
Now Oct, 2006, the issues seem to have reached a decisive point...
...I dont enjoy world politics and all because of all the diplomacy involved, however, i really hope all diplomatic measure will work for the peace of the commom man especially the people of North Korea - 'when two Elephants fight, the reeds pay the price!' The average man wants to live a normal life, while the eccentric 'rich' man creates the havoc...
...let's pray for world peace.

2006-10-14T02:34:00.000-07:00

Ethnocentrism II
...and back on the home front, watch parents dictate suitors to their children! I personally feel any father or mother who tries to manipulate or dissuade his or her grown-up child from marrying anybody they choose on the basis of tribe, is utterly a ‘terrified- child-in-grown-up –body’! and should bury his/her head in shame. It is indeed a shameful thing! They have disregarded the honour accorded them by their children and betrayed their trust as well..
...STRIVE to carry them (your parents) along as best as you can and if they continue to use emotional blackmail against you, shake the dust off your feet and move on! Love conquers all!
My school of thot tells me peace ‘at all cost’,is no peace at all; it’s merely a ticking time bomb! One’s personal happiness is of uttermost importance if he must make fool proof of his sojourn here on earth.
When we all stand in front of our maker to give account of our sojourn here, it will be as stand alones- individuals and not as affiliations or paired appendages to other people.
I know of many igbo parents who will complain that the reason for this ethnocentrism is the Nigerian civil war, how the Yoruba man betrayed the igbos, and the hausa man ‘daggering’ them up north, hmm.
Is it the yoruba man as sophisticated as he is when it comes to ‘owambe’ parties and all, or the hausa man who is so religiously astute? Let’s not go near the over 200 other tribes who use the minority propaganda as their own excuse. Every single tribe is guilty of this problem; if not why the clamour for more local government areas?
Ethnocentrism may not be a big issue with you and that's because you've learnt how to deal with it...
...Let this be a wake up call to the timid, whose identity is still in crisis!

'Jesus answered them, "Is it not written in your law, ' I said, "You are gods"? John 10:34

2006-10-09T15:24:00.000-07:00

Ethnocentrism
I have heard the word tribalism over and over again that it has become another academic expression – the Nigerian political history is never complete without the hate and bigotry of ethnic considerations. I even had a roommate back then as a university undergraduate who used to run around a lot to complete one assignment or the other in a particular course called ‘ethnicity’.
Among the list of things I’m forever grateful to my parents for is the sense of self-discovery (not in the New Age religion sense) they cultivated in us the kids- to believe in yourself enough such that it becomes the basis of your identity. I mean such that when people see and relate with you, they come in contact with a persona - your individuality.

Nothing inspires me more than interacting with liberated minds, mentally separated individuals whose mentality isn’t defined by cultural sentiments or ethnic affiliations but rather by humanistic principles of what is ideal and progressive for the common good of all. The crux of the matter in any given relationship whether by divine providence or otherwise is that no other human is created by a lesser God, hence, the institution of a social or ethnic caste system is simply a case of wasted minds desperate for content.
As a young adult, my baptism into the world of ethnocentrism started with the eye-opening experience of Nollywood home videos.
We all know the typical nollywood story line of parents’ seeking subliminal influence over their children, they have even coined it “The African Mentality”, ie the belief that children should exist as extensions of their parents.
In most instances you find this in the plot of intertribal marriages. The pertinent question is why do you define a person by where he is from? Shouldn’t it be the other way round? –where is he going?
The word ‘minority’ is a statistical monster that has connived with the word ‘tribe’ that it has become such a powerful propaganda tool in the hands of a select few who rule their society by the ‘drama triangle syndrome’, i.e the victim-persecutor-rescuer syndrome. On a global scale, most political strategies are designed by these ethnocentric tactics. Take for instance the Rwanda Genocide, I watched with horror the foundation of the crises where power, authority and superiority were determined by the facial structure of different tribes – ‘Tutsies and Hutus’ (source: History Channel). The Holocaust staged the slaughter of over 6million jews, what about the Bosnian war - all in the name of ethnic cleansing!
Who gave one tribe the mandate to declare superiority over the other? Why would a human being be so seared in his conscience that he would commit such atrocities to his fellow man even to children (we all need to read that book by Prof Elie Wiesel who was a prisoner at the Auschwitz Concentration Camp). It was once put that the Nazis stretched the boundaries of atrocities beyond it’s limit so much so that you couldn’t find an expression to adequately describe the horrendous evil committed against humanity in those camps…

2006-02-18T00:21:00.000-08:00

FINDING PURPOSE IN LIFE

A wonderful friend of mine Sade Tagbo (Sade, i hope you found that book on 'Listening Prayer'?) emailed a website containing this powerful piece to me; thot i should share it. Cant remember the site again but will find it and publish it in my next postings. Enjoy!:

ATTITUDE Is the Biggest Obstacle Environment matters, but in the end, when it comes to tackling the question, What should I do with my life? it really is all in your head. The first psychological stumbling block that keeps people from finding themselves is that they feel guilty for simply taking the quest seriously. They think that it's a self-indulgent privilege of the educated upper class. Working-class people manage to be happy without trying to "find themselves," or so the myth goes.
But I found that just about anybody can find this question important. It's not just for free agents, knowledge workers, and serial entrepreneurs. I met many working-class people who found this question essential. They might have fewer choices, but they still care. Take Bart Handford. He went from working the graveyard shift at a Kimberley-Clark baby-wipes plant in Arkansas to running the Department of Agriculture's rural-development program. He didn't do this by just pulling up his bootstraps. His breakthrough came when his car was hit by a train, and he spent six months in bed exploring The Question.
Probably the most debilitating obstacle to taking on The Question is the fear that making a choice is a one-way ride, that starting down a path means closing a door forever.
"Keeping your doors open" is a trap. It's an excuse to stay uninvolved. I call the people who have the hardest time closing doors Phi Beta Slackers. They hop between esteemed grad schools, fat corporate gigs, and prestigious fellowships, looking as if they have their act together but still feeling like observers, feeling as if they haven't come close to living up to their potential.
Leela de Souza almost got lost in that trap. At age 15, Leela knew exactly what she wanted to be when she grew up: a dancer. She pursued that dream, supplementing her meager dancer's pay with work as a runway model. But she soon began to feel that she had left her intellect behind. So, in her early twenties, with several good years left on her legs, she took the SATs and applied to college. She paid for a $100,000 education at the University of Chicago with the money that she had earned from modeling and during the next seven years made a series of seemingly smart decisions: a year in Spain, Harvard Business School, McKinsey & Co., a White House Fellowship, high-tech PR. But she never got any closer to making a real choice.
Like most Phi Beta Slackers, she was cursed with tremendous ability and infinite choices. Figuring out what to do with her life was constantly on her mind. But then she figured something else out: Her need to look brilliant was what was keeping her from truly answering The Question. When she let go of that, she was able to shift gears from asking "What do I do next?" to making strides toward answering "To what can I devote my life?"
Asking "What Should I Do With My Life?" is the modern, secular version of the great timeless questions about our identity. Asking The Question aspires to end the conflict between who you are and what you do. Answering The Question is the way to protect yourself from being lathed into someone you're not. What is freedom for if not the chance to define for yourself who you are?
I have spent the better part of the past two years in the company of people who have dared to confront where they belong. They didn't always find an ultimate answer, but taking the question seriously helped get them closer. We are all writing the story of our own life. It's not a story of conquest. It's a story of discovery. Through trial and error, we learn what gifts we have to offer the world and are pushed to greater recognition about what we really need. The Big Bold Leap turns out to be only the first step

2006-02-16T19:36:00.000-08:00

BIRD FLU IN NIGERIA?

i was really appalled at the CNN report on bird flu in Nigeria.How can a govt agency suffocate live birds and dump them in a dry well? shouldnt the birds be burned outrightly? to think that some Nigerians could actually stoop to pick up the rotten buried birds from the dry pit and cook, shook me to my bone marrow!utter disbelief at the abject poverty and misinformation in our land...
...poverty is such a scorge in Africa, is this an irriversible curse?
Why cant the UN send out a detailed guideline for a proper monitoring of the bird flu spread? Africa is poorly infrastructured and an outbreak of this deadly virus to her citizenry will be worse than the Chernobyl nuclear reactor disaster- logically speaking, it will be so easy to wipe off the black race from the face of the earth if we fold our arms and keep hoping it doesnt start a pandemic.
Remember, the church had to pray for Peter before his angelic release otherwise, he probably would have been beheaded like James!
Let us do the right thing and do things right!
The earth is the Lord's and all its fulness, the world and those who dwell therein Ps 24:1

2005-08-14T19:43:00.000-07:00

Crossing the Chasm... This is how the journey began:
Following on from the previous path of
being a systems designer in a reputable
computer firm and joggling vb codes for three years, the pursuit of personal fulfillment and discovery of purpose propelled me into cake making.
Coding is still fun, but sugarcrafting
for me is second nature, it is my alter ego and reveals the adventurous side of me! Nurtured by practice and now on the entrepreneurial path,having gone through the rigorous Fate Foudation School of Entrepreneurship and earning an award as an outstanding aspiring entrepreneur, I am taking my passion to the next level…

want sensational cakes? see www.cakeflair.net

2005-08-14T17:54:00.000-07:00

I am not a very formal person so dont expect a very 'formal' intro! Apart from my greatest passion which is churning out lovely cakes (see cakeflair.net), I find alot of satisfaction writing about goings-on around me within and without. Reading sort of developed in me the flair for writing, and i thoroughly enjoy this thought-provoking pastime!
I dont know if i own enough books to start a standard library, but i do know i've read quite a number of books and the list is growing by the week because "the mind is a terrible thing to waste"...

...Anyway, know for real that my motivation in life sums up to one goal: To have the power of choice. I live in Africa -Lagos Nigeria to be precise and where i come from, i tell you, this goal is a tall order! i will not fall into the temptation of writing diatribes against my native land because i've discovered the blueprints to achieving my goal; hence, I'm cultivating a new paradigm which is:

To change the unit of measurement by not accepting old standards that serve as
restraints to my development and the greatness of others around me.
To realize my identity and develop my individuality by managing my life from the inside out.
To break out of mental strongholds set by cultural sentiments and
life experiences.
To be a non-conformist, yet be in a state of well-being
with people in my circle of influence
To develop strong networks (by divine and 'deliberate' coincidences) with people
of vision and virtue, and breaking away from high maintenance relationships
while building affinity with positive relationships.
To be stable yet flexible.
For me, the fulfillment of my goal is known in no other terms except by these standards.